3 Ways to Stay Centered in a Genuinely Stressful Workday - Without Slowing Down Your Success
Yes, your job is a VERY stressful job. No doubt about it.
The deadlines are real. And don’t even get me started about your boss—the toughie. Your team needs a lot from you…maybe even too much.
You may be responsible for so many decisions that REALLY matter, problems that need to be solved, and more things on your calendar than you have hours in the day.
And you may genuinely not have another hour to devote to feeling calm.
I believe you!
This article isn’t going to dispute the facts as given. The answer to a stressful workday isn't pretending that your work isn't stressful.
And the answer certainly isn't to become less ambitious. Because we know that successful women love their success—and no one needs to apologize for being wildly successful!
After all, you’ve worked yourself to the bone to get where you are.
But we’re all here reading this because you’re ready for a different way of leading…a different way of moving through your workday that feels supportive of your body, mind, and spirit.
You’re ready to start feeling a little calmer inside of your workdays, instead of leaving yourself behind while you're getting it all done.
You’re ready to start trusting that you CAN be successful AND stay grounded, focused, organized, and calm.
So, let’s get to it…
As we get started, I'd love for you to notice something. Think about where most of your calming practices happen. Maybe you meditate first thing in the morning. You go to yoga after work. You listen to a guided meditation before bed. You go to a sound bath on Saturday.
Now think about where most of your stress happens. Is it in the same place?
Because for many of the wildly successful women I work with, there's an interesting gap.
Their stress happens at work.
Their calm happens everywhere else.
And then they wonder why they're not feeling consistently calm. When the bulk of the calming practices are performed outside of the workplace, not inside of it where they are needed most.
That's the gap I want to talk about, inside of this blog, today..
🌿 First, let's acknowledge something: Your job may genuinely be stressful
I think this is important.
There's a tendency in the wellness world to make everything about mindset.
Change the way you think.
“There’s an opportunity, here, for growth…”
Don't let things bother you.
Just slow down.
But what if there are things in your life that actually are demanding?
You may be leading a company, managing a team, running your own business, working with a difficult boss, taking care of clients, managing people's livelihoods, making high-stakes decisions, or meeting deadlines that cannot simply be moved because you've decided you'd like a calmer Tuesday.
Your job may actually require a lot from you. We're not going to argue with reality. And we're certainly not going to make your ambition the villain. The question isn't: “How do I get rid of everything stressful in my life?”
But rather “How do I learn to move through a demanding life without using stress and urgency as my primary fuel?”
That's different.
And it begins with three shifts.
🌿 1. Put Calm Where the Stress Actually Happens
I know that this sounds ridiculously simple…but it was a HUGE realization for me. There was a time in my life when I knew a lot about feeling calm. I had tools. I knew how to breathe. I understood the importance of taking care of myself. I went to yoga.
I was the head of a very big catering company and my anxiety was still through the roof...my workdays were mucking everything up. I was hiding out in the bathroom, squeezing in deep breaths and gasping for air. It just felt like I was underwater. I was breaking my own heart - my inability to consistently stay calm was still running the show.
I also remember being in graduate school - at one of the top art programs in the country and that, too, was demanding. There were brilliant, competitive personalities and pressure to be gifted and to conform to the way of this program. It was a tall order for someone with a trauma background like mine.
I knew calming techniques. I went to yoga. Yet, still, I felt like I was so stressed and anxious that I was barely keeping my head above water. And the worst part…I had to push myself to participate in the social functions.
There were days when I would literally duck into the bathroom and breathe.
I was so frustrated, I was doing all of the things - going to yoga, meditating, therapy - and yet I couldn't understand:
Why isn't all of this coming together for me?
Looking back, I can see something I couldn't see then. I was treating nervous-system regulation like something I did around my stressful life. Before it. After it. When I had time. When things got bad enough.
And the place where I was repeatedly practicing urgency?
My workday.
That's where I consistently practicing and was getting in the reps.
Rush. Solve. React. Push. What's next? Push through. Keep going. Don't fall behind. Don’t forget. Don’t be anxious. Look calm and composed.
Deal with yourself later. Again. And again. And again.
Then I'd leave work and try to repair myself. Sound familiar?
Your morning meditation isn't failing you.
Your yoga class isn't failing you.
Your sound bath isn't failing you.
Those practices can be beautiful and amazing - and effective.
But maybe you're asking practices outside your workday to carry the entire nervous-system load of what happens inside your workday.
What if some of the practice belonged where the stress actually happens?
🌿 2. Make It Small Enough to Fit the Life You Actually Have
And this is usually where someone says:
“Wendy, that's sounds great….but I’m already wet too busy. How could I possibly squeeze on more thing into my day?”
Right?! I get it.... You probably don't have another hour to spare, or even a half hour, for that matter.
But this article is not proposing that already busy women have an hour, inside of their workday, for calm practices. In fact, the last thing I want to do is turn calm into one more giant thing an overachieving woman has to accomplish.
What this article is exploring is what happens if we expand on the notion of adding something else in? Is it possible to add something in, without disrupting productivity.
Here’s what this article is proposing: your workday already contains transitions. You finish an email. A Zoom ends. You hang up with a client. You finish the presentation. You submit the report. You walk from one meeting into another. You sit in your car before walking into the next appointment. You close one tab before opening the next.
Those moments already exist.
But what do you usually do with them? For many of us:
This completion of tasks leads to WHAT’S NEXT.
There isn't a landing. The body doesn't get much opportunity to register: That ended.
Instead we move directly to What’sNext. Next. Next. Next.
That's one of the reasons I became so interested in micro-rests, in 60 seconds. Not because 60 seconds is some magical number. And definitely not because one 60-second breath will transform your life.
The 60 seconds aren't the transformation.
But 60 seconds is short enough to have a chance of becoming a successful practice, during a genuinely busy workday.
A tiny 60 second pause. Breath. Reset. Return.
Then you continue and your success doesn't have to stop. Your ambition and productivity doesn't disappear or slow.
You don't have to go find 20 minutes for a meditation session, a yoga session, or a lengthy walk during the workday, if this isn’t available to you. If it is that’s amazing, but many women in leadership struggle to find an extended period of time to breathe and reset.
A 60 second rest may seem like an inconsequential amount of time, however, when it is coupled with proper placement between tasks, it acts as a quick return to your center. You're simply beginning to practice something different inside the life you're already living. A weaving in of nervous system regulation, if you will.
🌿 3. If You Want Consistent Calm, You Need Consistent Practice
This is where everything we've been talking about comes together. You probably already know so much about nervous system regulation. You've read the books. Listened to the podcasts. Downloaded the apps. Saved the Reels. Learned the breathing techniques. Go to yoga. Researched cortisol. Learned about your nervous system.
And maybe you've thought: “I KNOW this stuff, so why am I still feeling inconsistently calm?”
Because knowing and practicing are two different things. You didn't learn urgency by reading a book called:
How to Rush Through Your Workday in 10 Easy Steps.
You practiced it.
Feel pressure → speed up.
Finish one thing → immediately begin another.
Feel overwhelmed → push harder.
Get uncomfortable → solve something.
Again. And again. and again.
And those responses became familiar - habit. There's actually something very hopeful inside of that.
Because if you can practice urgency, you can practice calm, too.
Our brains retain the capacity to change with experience. Repeated practice can strengthen patterns and make responses more familiar and accessible over time. This is one of the reasons repetition matters. Not one giant moment. Not one beautiful retreat. Not one fantastic yoga class. And not one 60-second meditation.
Consistent Practice = Consistent Calm
A 60 Second meditation, practiced consistently, inside the place you actually need it.
🌿 “But what happens when I get really busy again? I’m scared I’ll lose my center”
This may be the objection underneath all the others. I've heard women say some version of: “I'm afraid I'm going to get really busy again and lose my center.” I understand that fear.
You've done the work, learned how to take care of yourself and you're feeling good, right now. And somewhere inside you there's a worry: What happens when I get the promotion?What happens when the next launch comes? What happens when work gets crazy What happens when everyone needs me again? Will ambition take over? Will I disappear again?
Here's what I want you to consider:
What if protecting your center didn't require your life to be stress-free?
Read that again.
Because life isn't going to cooperate with our plans 100% of the time. There will be difficult emails, busy seasons. deadlines, family emergencies, huge opportunities, launches, promotions, problems, and wonderful things that require enormous amounts of us.
As we know, it isn't realistic to create a life that is stress-free, where nothing ever activates you, or to become a woman who doesn't want big things.
What if returning to yourself became part of how you pursue the big things?
Now we're talking about something very different.
🌿 Calm and ambition don't have to live on opposite sides of the room
I don't want you to become less successful or care less. I don't want you to stop going after the things you want. I don't want to take away your fire.
I want you to stop having to set yourself on fire to fuel it.
Because stress can feel like energy and urgency can get things done and pressure can create momentum - but these are meant to be short-term fuel.
What if that's not the only energy source available to you? What might your leadership look like when you're focused rather than frantic? What might happen in the difficult conversation when you have enough capacity to pause before answering?
What might happen when you finish the presentation, close the laptop and actually allow yourself 60 seconds to feel:
I did that. Not: Okay. What's next?
What if success started feeling different while you were creating it? Not after the fact.
🌿 And maybe you don't have to keep starting over
This is the piece I think matters enormously, because maybe you've had calm before. Maybe you've found your center before. You've had weeks when everything clicked…and you've promised yourself:
This time I'm going to keep doing this.
And then life got busy. You stopped regulating your nervous system. You ran your day on stress energy. And then you started your calming practice
And eventually you thought: I’m so frustrated I just can’t feel consistently calm.
“What if you've simply never had a calming practice designed to survive your actual workday?”
One where you are consistently using your calming tools,
One that's short enough to weave throughout the whole day.
One that's inside the day rather than waiting outside it.
One that's built around repetition rather than another mountain of information.
That changes the question from: “What's wrong with me?” to:
“What have I actually been practicing?”
And that's a question we can work with.
🌿 This is the idea behind 60 Seconds to Calm
Over the past few weeks, I've been quietly sharing pieces of something I've created called 60 Seconds to Calm.
It isn't based on the idea that you don't know enough - many of you know plenty. And it isn't based on the idea that you need to completely overhaul your life - you don't have time for that. And it certainly isn't based on the idea that you need to become less ambitious.
It's built around three ideas:
Put the practice where the stress actually happens.
Make it small enough to fit your real life.
Repeat it consistently enough that returning to calm becomes increasingly familiar.
Because one minute isn't the transformation.
Consistent Practice is.
And very soon, I'm going to invite you to go much deeper into exactly what that can look like.
For now, I don't want you to add anything.
I just want you to notice.
🌿 Start here this week
Take a look at one ordinary workday. Not your best day. Not your worst day. A normal one.
And ask yourself:
Where am I repeatedly practicing urgency?
Maybe it's immediately after meetings, or whenever your inbox fills. Maybe it's when your boss messages you, or the hour before lunch when you're hungry but decide to push through. Maybe it's 3:00 when you're tired and begin moving even faster.
Maybe it's when you finish something and don't allow yourself even a moment before asking: What's next?
Just notice.
Then ask:
Where could returning to myself live here?
Not an hour. Not a giant routine. Not something else to accomplish.
A moment.
A breath.
A return.
And then back to your beautiful, ambitious, complicated, genuinely demanding life.
Because maybe consistent calm doesn't require a completely different life.
